A world full of
distractions is left behind at 5am the morning of the hunt.
I gathered my
saddle and shining white saddle pad and placed them carefully onto Banner’s
back. His withers twitched at the sensation of manmade domestication.
Buckle by
buckle, strap by strap, I carefully placed each piece of tack on the nervous
and vigilant horse. His short breathing and skeptical side-glances made me all
too aware of how I simply neglect to consider his feelings towards the subject.
As I stepped out of
the barn into the dark and damp morning, I inhaled the scent of cut hay and
morning dew. After months of conditioning and work and other distractions, I
had my own personal freedom. “The place where I am supposed to be. The place where I belong.”
The truck rumbled to a start and clanked loudly as it attached to the
old trailer. By then, the whole gang had been rustled awake. The bugs held their
breath in anticipation of the hound dogs, one by one, waking each other up, the
horses snorting and pawing in their stalls, and even the old barn cat who was streching on the window.
I clucked gently to Banner as he hopped gracefully but loudly into the
trailer. The partition squeaked shut, followed by the clink of the locks on
the trailer door. These noises- the animals, the truck and trailer, the wind
through the barn- these are the only noises I wish to hear, “in my place of comfort.”
The sun peered over the live oaks and pines as we drove down the winding
country road to the hunt.
Inspiration provided by This Blog
While I was preparing to read your blog post, I was thinking of how I could relate our two blogs and then the title, “Peaceful Noise”, immediately grabbed my attention. Your blog gives us a place of where you feel that you belong, which was similar to what I did for my first blog post. As I was reading, I felt that it hinted that the barn was where you spent a lot of time at as a child. I don’t know if I was looking too far into it but it interested me. I want to know more about this place. Does the character live there, did he/she ever? How often do they go back to the barn? I liked that your reading invoked all of these questions. You enlarged and bolded the font to emphasize two phrases: “The place where I am supposed to be. The place where I belong”and also, “in my place of comfort.” Is there a reason that these phrases are placed at the end of each stanza? What is so important about those phrases? I don’t necessarily disagree with bolding them, I just wanted to know why those two held so much importance. I liked the structure throughout the story. Everything seemed so smooth and then you ended with “The sun peered over the live oaks and pines as we drove down the winding country road to the hunt.” The sun peering over the trees describes the second picture perfectly yet still leaves a lot to the imagination. It seemed like you may have thrown in the last sentence to show some relation between the second picture and the actual text. A few more sentences after that might have helped the ending seem not so abrupt. Also, what was the hunt? Was the character hunting for fun and to get away from all of the distractions they mentioned or were they hunting for food and means of survival? Overall, I really enjoyed reading this. The descriptions were vivid and mysterious at the same time.
ReplyDeleteEMWSenior2012 posted a successful second post that led me to be captivated by the story. “Peaceful Noise” was smartly structured to accommodate the post, match the background, tied into the overall theme of the blog, and created a sense of location and adventure. The term “peaceful noise” is an oxymoron when generally used. However, when creating a title for this blog, the author could not have created a better title to convey his or her true feelings. With the descriptive nature of the story, the noise is shown as a natural thing; something that is of comfort to the author. With this comfort, a sense of location and home was established with the background. It flows together nicely with the descriptive setting of the post. The author talks about pine trees and the country, which is demonstrated with the forest as a background. This background, matched with the overall title of the blog definitely links together without any awkward transitioning. The sense of location and story is firmly established. I felt like I was experiencing the steps of leading the horse into the trailer after putting on his tack. I could visualize clearly the open country road. The author did very well in creating a powerful story that I felt sucked into. One thing I would change, perhaps, would be the idea of a hunt. Unless you are a horse guru, you will not understand the jargon. What is the hunt? Is it code for a race or is it really a time for tracking and killing game? I did read the first post to establish this, and still feel as though the big event is unclear. However, this may be acting to the author’s advantage if he or she wants to create a sense of mystery. Lastly, when tying in his or her partner’s blog, the author bolded the quotes. This was awkward in the sense that it made the quotes seem more important than the rest of the story. This was the only part of the blog that created conflict, and interrupted the flow. Rather than continuing to absorb all of the blog, the eyes are directed straight to those words, which subtracts from the content. Overall, the blog was enjoyable, and makes me want to see what the big event, the hunt, actually will be.
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